you are all my skies and all i know
by earlgreymilktea
Summary: 35 ways you told me those three words, 35 ways i fell in love all over again. [collection of drabbles for "the ways you said 'i love you'" prompts; bokuaka ver. additional tags inside.]
1. as a hello

**midterms are approaching so naturally i decided to start something new!  
(prompt from trash-by-vouge tumblr!)**

 **rating: gen.  
tags: au-first meeting. **

**i actually did some research on owls for this one (they're not endangered but they do suffer from habitat loss).**

* * *

 **1\. as a hello**

"Hi! I love you! Please go out with me!"

Keiji blinks up at the person casting a shadow over him and his textbook. His mind is still on the different neurotransmitters and hormones inside a brain, so it takes him a moment to register the boy in front of him, wearing a grin brighter than the afternoon sun and a sweater with a cartoon owl on the front and black-and-white hair that seems to think gravity is just a suggestion. Keiji pushes his glasses up, wondering if he's imagining this strange, striking man with the gold, gold eyes.

"I'm sorry," he begins, putting down his textbook. "But I don't think that's possible."

Instantly, the boy in front of him deflates, his grin slipping into a pout. For some reason Keiji feels a sense of panic, and tries to fix it.

"It's just," he says quickly, "I don't even know who you are."

The boy brightens, pointing to himself with his thumb. "I'm Bokuto! Bokuto Koutarou, at your service!"

Keiji bows. "Akaashi Keiji."

"That's such a pretty name! It suits you!"

Keiji blushes, reaching up to adjust his glasses. "Thanks, Bokuto-san. Your name... suits you, too."

Bokuto grins at him. "Right? It's great because I love owls! Hey, hey, your name sounds like an owl, too- have you heard of the _akaashi-mori-fukurou_?"

Keiji nods. "The one with the red feet, right?"

"Yes!" Bokuto looks absolutely delighted that Keiji caught the reference. He bounces on his feet, and Keiji wonders how is it possible that this boy who looks like he can lift him up no problem- like seriously, just look at those arms-how is it possible that he can give off a vibe that's as excitable and innocent as a child? It's adorable, really.

"Akaashi! You like owls, too!"

"Yes, I do."

"It's proof we're meant to be! It's like-it's like we're soulmates!"

Keiji's lips twitch. "I don't think that's how it works, Bokuto-san." As Bokuto begins to wilt again, Keiji pretends to adjust his glasses, and, against his better judgement, says, "Don't you mean... s _owl_ mates?"

He peeks up to find the other standing there, dumbstruck, staring at him with his mouth hanging open slightly. Keiji bites his lip. Maybe he went a little too far? Those gold eyes are really something, he thinks, hoping Bokuto won't notice the burning at the tip of his ears.

"You're amazing," Bokuto breathes, finally. "I think I really do love you."

Keiji blushes, looking back down at his textbooks. "Why don't... why don't we be friends first, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto beams. "Okay! I'll be your best friend ever, Akaashi!" He pumps his fists in the air, whooping so loudly that passersby look over in alarm.

Keiji finds himself smiling. He gathers his things, and then glances at Bokuto. "Would you like to join me for lunch, best friend?"

* * *

 **i just wanted something light and happy and i used that stupid pun am i officially banished to volleyowl hell now**


	2. with a hoarse voice, under the blankets

**rated g for gay (gayngst? gay angst. i'm sorry)  
**

 **akaashi is high school third year, bokuto is at uni (age gap is suffering)**

* * *

 **2\. with a hoarse voice, under the blankets**

Akaashi's shaking has finally stopped, but Koutarou doesn't release his grip around the other boy.

They're lying in the dark of his room, safely tucked under his heavy comforter, with nothing but the sound of their breathing to remind them how late it is. Usually Koutarou can't stand the full-on darkness, but he was a little too preoccupied with the beautiful boy in his arms right now, trying so hard not to fall apart, to remember to turn on his little night-light in the corner.

He was just dozing off when there came a frantic knocking at his door. He opened it to find Akaashi standing on his doorstep, shivering in his thin long-sleeve shirt and biting his lips so hard Koutarou was half-afraid he'd draw blood. Immediately, he ushered the younger in, pushing aside his sleepiness and his confusion at what the high school third year is doing at his apartment this late on a school night.

He managed to squeeze enough information out of the boy clearly on the verge of bursting into tears to gather that he had an upset with his family, and in the heat of the moment had rushed out of the house. On one hand, Koutarou is touched and happy that Akaashi trusted him enough to come to him at times like these, but on the other, he's terrified and worried because never in his three-plus years of knowing his kouhai has he ever seen the boy this vulnerable. Akaashi's eyes were tinged red, his mouth turned down, his whole body trembling as if he's holding himself together by a thread.

Koutarou had no idea how to handle this situation. It was always someone else helping him out of his slump, it was always _Akaashi_ making him feel better. So Koutarou did the only thing he knew how to do well; he gave Akaashi his best hug.

Akaashi had clung on and refused to let go. Koutarou didn't complain, even when Akaashi's fingers dug into his back painfully, because if he can provide just the slightest bit of comfort, ease the other boy's pain just the slightest bit, he'd do it.

Now they lie in his bed, quiet. His shirt is a little damp, but Koutarou doesn't comment on it. Instead, he strokes Akaashi's hair slowly. His eyes close, and he's almost dozing off again when Akaashi moves his head on his chest. He can't see anything, but he can hear just fine. So when Akaashi, voice scratchy and hoarse from crying, breaks the silence to say those three words, Koutarou knows it's real. Smiling softly, he turns to press his cheek against the mess of black curls of the boy wedged against him.

"I love you, too, Keiji."

* * *

 **three guesses what akaashi told his parents that made them lose their shit  
don't worry, he'll be fine in the morning. for now, owl cuddles**


	3. a scream

**i originally started this one with rain, angst, and tears that could have been rain who knows /shrug emoji but i was feeling in the mood for owl kisses so there you go**

 **rated G for gayyyy and Good Fluff™, established relationship**

* * *

 **3\. a scream**

They are the only car in the planetarium's parking lot.

Which makes sense, as it's nearing midnight now, and the planetarium usually closes around ten o'clock. It's a clear night, and this far up the stars are just visible across the dark sky. It's chilly, but at least Keiji listened when Koutarou showed up at his house and told him to dress warmly.

"Come on," says Koutarou now, climbing out of the car. He waits until Keiji obligingly steps out as well before grabbing his hand, his grin just visible above his scarf.

"Where are we going?" Keiji asks again, but he allows his boyfriend to lead him down a path to the side of the planetarium.

"Shh, you'll ruin the surprise. Watch your step."

They continue further down until Koutarou pulls Keiji up a ledge. After making sure they're both standing safely, Koutarou sweeps his arms open with a flourish, beaming all the while.

"Ta-da! The best view in the whole wide world!"

Keiji's breath catches in his throat. Spread out before them is the city, scattered lights twinkling below, a myriad of reds and yellows and greens and blues. He can just spot the Tokyo Tower in the distance. Tiny lights move along a highway, like fireflies in a line. It's beautiful.

"You like it?" Koutarou peers at him, eyes wide in anticipation. Keiji nods, and his face blooms into a smile bright enough to rival the city lights below.

"How did you think of this place?"

Koutarou shrugs, but then smiles sheepishly. "Well, Konoha said he took Yukie-chan here to see the sunset once and that I couldn't top that. But then I thought you liked the quiet, and it's the quietest at night, plus it's very pretty... but not as pretty as you."

Keiji rolls his eyes, but he can feel heat spreading across his cheeks. Koutarou notices, too, because the next moment he's throwing his hands in the air and letting out a loud whoop.

"Who's romantic now, Konoha! Beat that! I am the most romantic owl ever!"

Keiji shakes his head, but he's laughing. He tugs at Koutarou's sleeve, trying to shush him, "You're too loud."

"There's no one around, Keiji, don't worry." A sudden gleam enters those golden eyes, and Keiji's instantly apprehensive. That look always mean some crazy idea's gotten a hold of his boyfriend, and it'll either end in a) secondhand embarrassment, b) needing to call Sarukui to bail them out, or c) a trip to the hospital.

Well, maybe Keiji isn't giving Koutarou enough credit. In the years they've known each other, he's grown up quite a bit. He's stopped pulling stupid stunts with Kuroo, and his mood swings have evened out a bit as he matured. But Koutarou never loses that spark in his soul, that quick-to-laugh personality, that amazing ability to embrace the world and love it, no matter what. Keiji's glad for it.

Now, however, he's half-afraid Koutarou is moving too fast again. His boyfriend has now climbed to his feet, facing the city with a wild grin on his face. He cups his hands around his mouth.

"Kou, what are you-"

"AKAASHI KEIJI!" Koutarou screams, his voice loud in the chilly night. "AKAASHI KEIJI, I LOVE YOUUUUU!"

Keiji gapes up at him, speechless. He can still hear the echoes of that declaration, and it's stupid but he can feel his heart pounding like the first time Koutarou asked him out, like the first time they kissed, like he was seventeen all over again.

Turning to him, Koutarou gives him a softer smile. "Happy birthday, Keiji. I hope this year treats you well, too."

He doesn't answer, instead pulling Koutarou down to his level and kissing him hard on the mouth. With their arms wrapped around each other and breathing uneven and faces red from more than the cold, Keiji knocks his forehead against Koutarou's. He smiles.

"I think you're wrong, Koutarou. The best view in the whole wide world is when I'm looking at you."

Koutarou's eyes widen. Then he scrunches up his face, laughing, tugging Keiji closer until they almost fall over. "You win, Keiji, you win!"

* * *

 **ps keiji's the most romantic owl and he doesn't even try**

 **this was very self-indulgent this is my ideal date someone take me out city-gazing at night doooo iiiiitttt**


	4. over a cup of tea

**rated G for a Good Time  
** **warning for f-bombs because they happen when video games are involved  
** **ft kuroken because i can (and i just love the four of them together okay)**

* * *

 **4\. over a cup of tea**

"I can't believe you chose Princess fucking Peach."

"Oh, shut up, you're just jealous of my awesome pink dress."

"You know I'd rock that dress better than you ever will."

"No way-who the _fuck_ threw that turtleshell?!"

Keiji shakes his head at the ruckus Bokuto and Kuroo are making, fingers jabbing at the game controllers and elbows jabbing at each other. It's Saturday, and their exam season finally ended, with everyone coming out more or less unscathed. Naturally, the two best friends decide that they want to celebrate, but before they go out and wreak havoc across the city, they have to duke it out on MarioKart first.

He glances over at Kenma, curled up on the other end of the couch, feet resting against the broadness of Kuroo's back. He has his own handheld game, and his eyes are glued to the small screen. It's not an unusual sight, and Keiji knows that Kenma is actually present with them today because he keeps snorting at the dumb retorts the boys in front of them are throwing at each other.

"Ha, look, I'm in the lead!"

"For now, you rooster-headed jerk," pouts Bokuto, his thumbs moving over his controller with intense concentration.

Putting down his book, Keiji grabs his mug of green tea. He watches the screen, wondering if this was the seventeenth game or if maybe he lost count and they've already reached twenty. They're pretty evenly matched, but last Keiji checked Kuroo is in the lead by a tiny margin.

"You're going down, owl-head!"

"Not if you go down first, you scheming cat!"

Sipping his tea, Keiji glances over at Kenma again. "Wanna bet who wins?"

Kenma's eyes flick up to the big screen, then to Keiji. He raises his eyebrow slightly. "No, but you should end the game anyway."

Keiji chuckles. Kenma's too good at reading people. He faces forwards again, cupping his tea with both hands. It's only lukewarm now, which means they've been lazing about here too long.

Bokuto is in second place now, just behind Kuroo. Keiji waits, sipping his tea patiently, until-

"Hey, Bokuto-san."

"Yeah, Akaashi?"

"I love you."

"Yeah- you do!"

Keiji finishes the rest of his tea as Bokuto lets out a loud hoot, thumbs jamming the controller, and Princess Peach overtakes Luigi, sliding into first place. He smiles.

"Akaashi! I love you too!" Bokuto drops his controller, climbing onto the couch and sweeping Keiji into one of his famous hugs. He rubs his face into Keiji's neck, making content and victorious noises.

Over Bokuto's shoulder, he can see Kuroo gaping in disbelief at the screen, his hands empty. He turns his head, throwing Keiji a betrayed look. "You cheaters! What the heck kind of sorcery was that!"

Behind him, on the couch, Kenma pipes up, "You just suck, Kuro."

"Kenma, you're supposed to be on my side- And for gods sake, get a room, you two!"


	5. over a beer bottle

**lol haha i've never been drunk in my life (yet?) please don't drink and drive, kids**

 **rated g for gaaaaayyyy  
** **mentions of alcohol (duh)  
** **kisses. fluff. good stuff.**

* * *

 **5\. over a beer bottle**

Koutarou laughs, pointing at the tv screen and giggling madly.

Beside him sits Akaashi, cheeks red and a relaxed smile on his face. It's Friday night, and they haven't seen each other in like, two weeks. Which is way too long, in Koutarou's opinion. So they decided to have a night in to themselves, cracking open a six pack between the two of them, watching a terrible film that Koutarou can't quite remember the name of.

"I can't believe this got put through production," murmurs Akaashi, raising his beer to his lips again.

"But it's hilarious!" exclaims Koutarou, nearly spilling his own bottle.

"It's hilarious because it's so bad."

Koutarou grins, leaning over to shove Akaashi's shoulder. "I love you, Akaashi."

Akaashi pauses, his bottle halfway to his lips. He shoves Koutarou back, the red spreading to the tips of his ears. "What's with that, all of a sudden."

Laughing boisterously, Koutarou snuggles his face against Akaashi's neck. He's really liking the fact that he can do this now, in real life, anytime he wants, and not just in his dreams. Ignoring Akaashi's half-hearted protests, he wraps his arms around the other boy's waist and effortlessly pulls Akaashi into his lap.

"Bokuto-san! You're going to make me spill-"

Koutarou grabs the bottle out of his boyfriend's hand, setting it down on the table in front of them before going right back to Akaashi. Cupping the other boy's face in his hands, he gives him a brilliant, happy smile and leans in to kiss his boyfriend silly.

Akaashi kisses back for a moment, their movements languid and content, as if they have all the time in the world. He pulls back after a while, dark eyes staring back into Koutarou's own, softer and less focused than usual.

"Doesn't taste good," Akaashi says, pushing through Koutarou's hair with one hand. He hadn't gelled it up today, but he also noticed that Akaashi really likes to run his hand through his hair when it's down, so. "Beer. Sour."

Koutarou nods, lowering his head until it hits Akaashi's chest. He feels sort of heavy, as if he's floating in water. He's not concerned though, because Akaashi's there. It's always safe with Akaashi. "Mm. We'll continue... tomorrow... yeah?"

He feels Akaashi's chest vibrate in a chuckle, before his hand begins to pet his hair soothingly. "Sure, Bokuto... Koutarou-san."

The familiar darkness of sleep is already pulling a blanket over him, so Koutarou only hums and smiles into Akaashi's shirt, locking his arms around the other. He doesn't know if he imagines the soft, "I love you, too," above his head as he begins to drift off, but his dreams are blissful and warm.

* * *

 **headcanon bokuto's a sleepy, clingy drunk**

 **they've been dating for a month here, so that's what's up with the names, sorry**


	6. with sunlight glowing in your hair

**(i realize i've been doing this slightly wrong, in the pov telling of "the way you said 'i love you'"... anyway)**

 **rated G for giggly good feelings  
** **that's it. just bokuto with a huge gay crush on one akaashi keiji.**

* * *

 **6\. on a sunny tuesday afternoon, with the sunlight glowing in your hair**

"-and then, you'll never believe what Kenma-chan said! He didn't even look up from his phone, you should've seen the look on Kuroo's face!"

Koutarou gestures wildly, animatedly retelling the story of his last visit to his partner-in-crime. Akaashi walks beside him, hands in the pockets of his jacket, the tiniest smile on his face. They're heading home after a good practice, with Koutarou nailing almost every spike. It's nearing the end of summer, with just the slightest breeze ruffling through the trees, but the days remain long and bright even now. Koutarou is content strolling through these familiar streets at this slow pace with his setter and best friend.

"I'm sure it was ridiculous," says Akaashi, and Koutarou grins.

"It was! You should join us next time!"

Akaashi only shrugs, smile still in place. "Maybe next time." He tilts his head to look at the sky, squinting just the slightest bit from the glare of the setting sun.

Koutarou watches him, falling silent, which he's prone to do often in Akaashi's presence. It's not like he's completely conscious of it, and if Akaashi notices, he's never mentioned it. But Koutarou quite likes it sometimes, the way they can fill the space between them with mindless chatter, or just comfortable silence. Even for Koutarou's restless mind filled with too many thoughts and ideas and doubts and fears, when it's just the two of them like this, he doesn't feel the need to distract himself from his own mind. For just a few brief moments, all the noise in his head calms down, and for that, Koutarou is eternally thankful and glad that the fates have allowed Akaashi Keiji into his life.

They cross the street, their shadows growing longer behind them. Little kids run by them on their way to the playground, and Koutarou turns to watch them. He smiles, remembering when he was that small, so brave and loud and untouchable in the face of whatever the world could throw at him. Before he grew up and understood that one man couldn't take on the world by himself, especially when his own self tended to sabotage him at inconvenient times.

He turns to remark on something to Akaashi, but he forgets it as soon as he catches sight of his setter. The boy is staring ahead, the last of the sunlight filtering through the tree branches and lighting his face. He has on a serene expression, a soft curve tilting his lips, his messy black locks reflecting the sunset as if a halo of some ethereal being. Koutarou thinks Akaashi has never looked more breathtaking.

Then Akaashi turns to him, and his smile widens just the slightest bit. His dark eyes seem to soften as he gazes back at Koutarou, and with the fading afternoon sun making him look positively glowing, he says, "I love you, Bokuto-san."

Koutarou pauses, but only so to blink the brightness out of his eyes, enough that he can focus back on the beautiful face of his setter, his best friend, his favourite person probably ever.

He grins. Wordlessly, he reaches out, and Akaashi takes his open hand.

They hold on all the way home.

* * *

 **raise your hand if akaashi keiji is prettier than you are and you're glad for it (bokuto raises both his hands in a banzai manner, probably)**

 **also, haha, slipped in personal headcanons about our favourite alpha owl and his inner demons, oops (/casually self-promos: pls go read my bokuto character study)**


	7. as a thank you

**i just remembered that the owl team is made up of like. mostly third years omg all the team angst i'm crying and i've only been on a badminton team which technically doesn't even count**

 **rated G for goddamn these sports anime feels**  
 **this one was supposed to be more platonic because! team sports! losses! grADUATION! WHY FURUDATE WHY**

* * *

 **7\. as a thank you**

Keiji finds his captain outside, sitting on the stairs in the east entrance of the stadium.

Bokuto is sitting still for once, staring into the distance with a soft frown on his face. His eyes are still tinged red, but the tear tracks on his cheeks have mostly dried. Keiji thinks his own face must look about the same, though he still feels like crying just a little.

"Bokuto-san."

The older boy looks up at him, and offers him a small smile. It's the smallest smile he's ever seen on Bokuto's face, and that makes Keiji sadder than it should. He sits down next to his captain, and they both stare forwards, ignoring the terrible disappointment on both their faces.

They lost. It's the last game of the season, the last game for their third years, the last game _with Bokuto_ , and they lost. They put up a good fight, but in the end, it wasn't good enough. The worst part was, Bokuto had been completely silent in the locker room, other than one shaky, "Good job, guys," before he retreated to his corner. The rest of the team had quickly cleared out, jaws clenched and tears still trailing down cheeks. Keiji himself had spent ten minutes in the washroom, telling himself to hold it together until they went home. He had a captain to console, after all.

But said captain just sits there, silent, distant. And Keiji, for the first time since he met Bokuto, has no idea what to say.

"That was a good game," says Bokuto finally. "We gave it our a hundred percent."

Keiji looks down. "But it's not enough," he says quietly. He can still feel the ball leave his fingertips in that last set, sailing high close to the net just how Bokuto likes it, and that flash of golden eyes and powerful arms and- and the opposing team's middle blockers, a wall that deflected their best weapon. It hurt, like all losses do. Hurt more, probably, knowing there will be more matches, yes, but it will never be the same.

"Hey." Bokuto nudges him with his elbow. Keiji looks up to find a smile on his captain's face, those gold eyes bright as day, so familiar and determined, like those heroes in the picture books Keiji used to read like the Bible when he was a child. If anyone was to conquer the world, it was Bokuto, and Keiji-Keiji would follow him anywhere. "You did good, Akaashi. I wouldn't have changed a thing."

Keiji stares back at him, but he doesn't trust himself to speak.

Bokuto carries on, stretching his arms in front of them, eyes closed and face tilted towards the sky. "Ahhh, I feel like I can rest easy now, leaving the team to you, Akaashi. These past two years have sure been a handful for you, huh?" Bokuto glances over at him, expression soft. "I'm glad you were on my team. It's been good."

All of a sudden, the tears Keiji thought he's gotten rid of has come flooding back, and he turns his face down, trying to hide them, but Bokuto sees right through. Strong arms are around him, and he hugs his captain back with just as much feeling. They both don't comment on the dampness of Bokuto's jacket.

"Hey, Akaashi, I love you," Bokuto murmurs into Keiji's shoulder, and Keiji understands he means, _I'm so glad to have met you, this team has been my second family and I'm going to miss playing with you and the rest of the owls so, so much, thanks for everything, thanks so much, thank you thank you thank you._

"Yeah, same here," Keiji mumbles back, his voice cracked and clogged with tears, and he means, _please don't leave me, why do you have to graduate, the team's never going to be the same without all our third years and you, it won't be the same tossing to another ace, Bokuto-san, I'm going to miss you all so, so much, thank you for these two wonderful years, for bringing us to the nationals every time, thank you._

They stay until their tears have dried and Keiji's phone has blown up with Konoha telling them to get their asses to the bus or the team's leaving for yakiniku without them. And gods forbid Bokuto from missing _that_.


	8. as an apology

**ahaha the gaynst (gay angst) is back**

 **rated g for gaAAAHHH ANGSTY  
** **warnings for much sad**

* * *

 **8\. as an apology**

It's completely silent between them, and Koutarou has never felt any worse.

He sits on the bed, facing the window, while Keiji hovers by the doorway. It's late, and they have to wake early tomorrow, but neither moves. Instead, it's as if they are both at a standstill, the sand in the hourglass falling too slow, almost suspended in mid-air, neither of them daring to breathe too loudly for fear of cracking the glass between them.

Keiji shifts, opens his mouth to speak again, but Koutarou cuts him off. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice is too small, too accusing, too hurt- he hates it, he hates the tension in the air, he hates how far away Keiji is, he hates how he can't bring himself to look at his other half.

"I wanted to." Keiji's voice is just as small, pained, the kind that Koutarou's first instinct is to reach out and pull him close to his chest. Except he doesn't. He can't. Not after what's happened.

Maybe not ever again.

"You could've just told me," says Koutarou, but his breath got caught up in his throat and he ends up choking out the rest of the words. It's pathetic and he hates it, he hates that he can feel Keiji's pitiful eyes on him, he hates the he knows Keiji is half-reaching for him because he's doing the exact same. "I wouldn't have-I don't know, whatever you were afraid I'd do. I just... I thought you trusted me. I trusted you."

"I know. I know, gods, I just-" Keiji puts a hand to his mouth, eyes downcast. His hand is trembling, Koutarou notices, and he looks away again quickly, but not before he catches the wetness gathering at the edges of those dark green eyes that he loves so much. "I don't know what I was thinking, Kou. I fucked up. I know I did."

Koutarou frowns down at his lap. "What are you going to do now?" he whispers. He squeezes his eyes shut, hoping that might make it less painful, but it doesn't work. He can still hear Keiji's every breath like his own, every footstep as they come closer, and the rustling of clothes as they brush against the bedspread-

"Kou. Please look at me."

Keiji's there on the bed beside him, those green eyes still slightly damp, but they're meeting his steady and unwavering. "Koutarou. I know what I did was wrong. I should've told you everything at the beginning. I'm sorry. Please tell me how I can fix this." He reaches out slowly, his hand hovering half-way, silently asking for Koutarou's permission.

Koutarou closes his eyes again. He takes a deep breath. His heart still feels so heavy and so tired and _aching_ , but he's already missing the warmth of his partner against him. It sucks, he thinks, to know someone so well and have them know you, yet still be able to have so much you can't say between you.

But he'd rather have someone know him inside out, even the parts he's always been too afraid to show the world, he'd rather have someone that can reach that side of him and, even if they have the power to hurt him there, at least it means he's alive and able to _feel_.

He breathes out slowly, opening his eyes. Quietly, he reaches out, and takes Keiji's hand. He tugs until his head leans against his boyfriend's chest, and Keiji's slender arms are wrapped around him tight, safe, warm.

"I love you, Koutarou," Keiji whispers into his hair, and Koutarou allows himself to cry.

Maybe he'll forgive him tomorrow. Maybe he won't. But for now, they're stuck together, a house of cards, and that's enough for the both of them to hold on until morning.

* * *

 **who thought this was a breakup song? c'mon kids akaashi's no cheater. except at monopoly, bokuto swears he cheats. tbh idk what akaashi did...**

 **a) probably forgot to mention that he's going to be missing bokuto's bday party next week  
** **b) he got transferred? moving out? le gasp  
** **c) he went ahead and picked their honeymoon vacation w/o telling bokut  
** **d) he accidentally threw bokuto's favourite stuffed owl in the wash  
** **e) the stupid cancer card? on second thought, no. just no.  
** **f) take your pic i suck at angst**


	9. when baking chocolate chip cookies

**i don't know how to bake i set the oven on fire once don't let me in a kitchen**

 **headcanon that bokuto actually knows his way around a kitchen, whereas akaashi only knows how to work a microwave and a kettle**

 **this was really dumb and short idk but hey at least it's not angst? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

 **rated g, lotsa fluff**

* * *

 **9\. when baking chocolate chip cookies**

"Bokuto-san, did you preheat the oven?"

"Yup!"

"Okay. Good. Thank you."

Keiji stands by the counter, frowning down at the piece of paper in his hands. He's never stood this long in the kitchen before, never prepared anything more than ramen noodles or reheating leftovers. But his mother's birthday is coming up soon, and he wants to give her something more than just the usual store-bought card and gift card. So, enlisting the help of his senpai (more like, said senpai decided to follow him home once he caught whiff of The Plan), Keiji is determined to bake the best batch of chocolate chip cookies ever for an amateur. The instructions are all listed right on this paper, and Keiji has always been good at following instructions. How hard can it be?

Really hard, apparently.

"What do you mean, mix until light and fluffy? It's dough, not feathers." Keiji scowls at the recipe, flour on his hands, on his apron, all over the counter. There's half a stick of butter sitting near the edge of the counter, and the sugar container's lid is nowhere to be seen. Normally, Keiji would be screaming at this unsightly disorder, but currently he is preoccupied with trying not to have a breakdown. He's following the instructions step by step, but never in his life, not even calculus and english verb phrases, have ever made him feel more incompetent.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down," says Bokuto, stepping in and handing Keiji an electric mixer. "Here, use this. Just mix it for a minute or two, I'll tell you when it's done, and then we can add the eggs, okay?"

Keiji stares at him. "You know how to bake?"

Bokuto puffs up his chest, beaming at him. "Don't underestimate your captain, Akaashi! I can do anything!" When Keiji just continues to stare at him, Bokuto deflates a little. He shrugs. "Volleyball wasn't my only hobby, you know. In middle school, most kids went through the visual-kei phase, but not me. I went through the baking phase!" He grins, plugging in the mixer and positioning the bowl. "I had magazines and everything, even spent hours watching those shows with the old ladies explaining how best to bake a pie so you'd have a perfect golden crust. So don't worry, Akaashi, I've got your back!"

"You know how to bake," repeats Keiji, and suddenly he feels like laughing. If there's anything he expected when he finally relented and invited his captain in that afternoon, it sure wasn't this.

Bokuto grins at him again. "I'm amazing, I know."

Without warning, he reaches out and grabs Keiji's hands. Before Keiji can freak out, however, the older boy places his hands around the mixer, and asks him if he's ready. When Keiji nods, albeit a bit shakily, Bokuto presses the start button, and tells him to move the mixer slowly in a clockwise manner. Quiet, half-terrified and half in awe, Keiji obeys Bokuto's instructions.

Half an hour later, the cookies are in the oven, and Keiji relaxes, realizing his muscles have been locked in tension the whole time. He wipes his forehead, and looks up at Bokuto.

"Thank you," he says.

Bokuto waves it off. He leans forward, forcing Keiji's breath to catch, but all he does it wipe his cheek with a finger. "You got some cookie dough there," he says, and sticks his finger in his mouth.

Keiji grabs a clean towel, wiping his face quickly. He can feel his cheeks burning, and it's not because of the oven temperature.

"Hey, hey, Akaashi."

Bokuto's face is open and happy and this time when he leans in with his head, Keiji doesn't startle. When his captain says "I love you" with laughter in his voice and in his eyes, Keiji doesn't look away. When Bokuto smiles at him, Keiji can't help but smile back.


	10. not said to me

**the much acclaimed, much gooey fluffy feels, much loved parent AU!**

 **rated G for gosh-diddly-darn adorable**  
 **ft the smol-est sunshine child ever**

* * *

 **10\. not said to me**

By the time Keiji reaches home, it's already past dinner time. He called ahead to let them know that he'd be late, but he still felt guilty stepping through the door.

"I'm home," he calls, taking off his shoes. He hears two pairs of footsteps pounding on the wooden floors towards him, and braces himself for impact.

"Keiji! Welcome home!" Koutarou skids around the corner, grin as bright as it always is. Keiji grins back.

"Daddy!" A tiny force knocks into Keiji's knees, and he has to grab the wall to avoid falling over backwards. He looks down to find a small face bearing a smile sunny enough to rival his papa's.

"I'm home, Shouyou, Koutarou."

Koutarou leans down to grab their son by the middle, hoisting the squealing toddler over his shoulder easily, his muscles still there even after years after leaving the court. "There's curry on the stove, want me to reheat it?"

"I can do it."

"Okay. We'll be in the living room. We're going to finish colouring Bambi today, aren't we, kiddo?"

"Bambi! Bambi!" Shouyou screams, stretching his arms above his head, though he's still facing down from the way Koutarou is holding him.

Keiji shakes his head as they disappear into the living room. He'll never get used to the loudness and liveliness that is his household, despite how many years it's been since he met Koutarou. And since they adopted Shouyou two years ago, it seems like their two bedroom apartment has suddenly brightened a considerable amount, so much so that Keiji is half-amazed none of their neighbours have filed a complaint about the noise and general dazzle that has become his family.

But Keiji isn't complaining. Not now, when he can still hear the two of them singing the theme song to some cartoon show even as he changed into comfier clothes in the bedroom, when he gets to come home from a hectic day in the outside world to his favourite boys in the entire universe.

He moves back out to the kitchen, turning on the stove as he listens to the soft giggling sounds of Koutarou and Shouyou messing about on the coffee table in the next room. It's amazing, he thinks, how he can go from being so bone-tired when he leaves work, to so relaxed and comfortable just by being in the presence of those two.

This must be what home is, he thinks to himself. He smiles.

Fixing himself a plate of curry and rice, he settles down on the couch behind Koutarou and Shouyou, quietly watching them. Shouyou is waving his crayons in the air, babbling about what he learned today in kindergarten and what "that meanie Yamayama-kun" said during play time. Koutarou gives him his full attention, quietly echoing his son's enthusiastic "gwaaaah"s and "puwaah"s.

"Papa! Papa, you're colouring it wrong!"

"Oh, am I, little dude, am I?"

"The sun's not purple!" laughs Shouyou, tiny hands grabbing at Koutarou's bigger ones.

"How do you know, you've never looked directly at the sun before."

Shouyou gapes at Koutarou, shocked at his logic. Keiji snorts, meeting Koutarou's glance with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't go teaching bad ideas, Kou."

Koutarou winks at Keiji, before turning back to Shouyou, who still hasn't moved. "Hey, hey, kiddo. I'm kidding. Don't go looking at the sun, you'll go blind like a shrimp, okay!" He reaches out to tickle the child for good measure.

"I don't wanna turn into a shrimp!" squeals Shouyou, giggling madly at the hands of his father.

Koutarou grins, reaching out and ruffling the kid's wild orange hair. "Even if you do, you'll always be our shrimpy-chan, okay? I love you, kiddo." He laughs as Shouyou crawls into his lap, wrapping small arms around his broad, broad shoulders. He hugs his child back, patting his messy curls softly.

Keiji watches them, a small smile on his face. It's just a normal Thursday evening, he's eating an ordinary homemade curry meal, his family in front of him, and yet he's never felt more happy. This right here, watching Koutarou play and laugh with their child, in their own home, knowing that they made it this far and will continue to make it further, _together_ , Keiji can feel his heart swelling at the thought of it all.

If this is what love is, he wouldn't trade it for the world.


	11. with a shuddering gasp

**happy new year everyone! oops, sin before the new year... at least that means we're all healthy and kicking, following the monkey into the new year?**

 **rated T for technically this is sin but technically i did what i did best and skimmed over it...**

* * *

 **11\. with a shuddering gasp**

Akaashi Keiji is beautiful.

Koutarou knows this, he's spent years falling into awed silence at the way those dark curls framed that pale porcelain face, falling into stunned speechlessness at the way those long eyelashes cast shadows across those cheeks, falling into quiet fascination at the way those emerald eyes seem to glow in the afternoon sunlight. Koutarou has spent years falling in love with the way Akaashi Keiji just _is_ , and still everyday he's rendered breathless at the beauty before him.

Even now, surrendered before him like this, pale skin flushed a healthy shade of rose, soft pants dropping from his mouth, swollen red, like the beads of sweat rolling down both of their bare backs, Koutarou thinks he has never seen a more beautiful person. The usually messy locks of hair are spread out on the mattress beneath them, and those usually calm eyes are half-lidded and dark, dark enough that Koutarou imagines himself reflected in that tranquil abyss. His usually composed expression is set loose, unravelled, cracked open like a flower blooming at midnight. Koutarou is almost dizzy with the effort trying to drink in all of him at once.

"You're so beautiful," he breathes, running a hand from Keiji's cheek down to his neck, brushing his collarbone and down his chest. He follows with his lips, sliding across the bare skin slowly, languidly, as if he could do this for the rest of his life.

Under his touch, Keiji shivers. His hands come up to rake through Koutarou's hair, his green eyes dazed but still managing to shoot sparks straight down Koutarou's spine. He pulls Koutarou back up to kiss him full on the mouth, groaning softly against his tongue.

Koutarou smiles into the kiss, his own breathing uneven and heart slamming against his chest. He loves the feeling of Keiji in his arms, how just the warmth and rhythm of another's breathing can make him feel so _full_ , so complete, like he hadn't known he was missing something until Keiji walked into his life. And Koutarou thanks his lucky stars everyday that the fates decided he deserved somebody as beautiful as Keiji.

He dips down again, nipping at the skin under Keiji's jaw, enjoying the way it causes the other to squirm slightly. The fire burns within him again, tireless, as he rolls his hips against Keiji, grinning when he can feel fingers digging into his back.

"Bo-Bokuto-san," gasps Keiji, his legs squeezing against Koutarou's hips and fingernails dragging down the back of his shoulders, "love, I love-I love you," he manages, shuddering against Koutarou.

Koutarou leans down, capturing the next confession and all the ones after that from Keiji's lips, swallowing them down and spilling them back wordlessly into the night.

* * *

 **... i tried. (evidently, i can't write anything remotely smutty to save my life, this is the closest i'll ever get)**


End file.
